A Dynamos Christmas - Poem

One thing you don't know about me

Is that into the future I can see
When you're tucked in and they turned out the lights
This is the tale of one Christmas night

It was late at night on the eve of Noel
That coach Ben heard the sound of his doorbell
A neighbour called by and said that he saw
a mysterious shape by the pavilion front door

Lucy said 'Ben you must get down there fast
there's no way we're letting a robber get past'
Ben said 'I'll go there

without a delay'
'I'll not let some villain
ruin my Christmas day'

Before he left he rang a number
it was Jon who got woken from his drunken slumber
Jon called Steve and he called Ben
till everyone knew, even Coach Glen

5 minutes later the team were in place
they were all ready to see what they faced
they crept over to the pavillion grounds
and stealthily treading didn't make any sounds

'What’s that?' said Richard and there they could see
someone was moving over by the trees
'I'll sort this out'

Tom said 'This looks wrong'
'No way' said the others 'we'll all come along'

And so it was that the Dynamos team
some on all fours

they approached unseen

When Lloyd said 'go' they all did charge
and into the figure they all did barge

'Ow' said the victim, and then with a shout
'I've slipped a disc and my back's been put out'
One coach looked closer, I think it was Steve'
'It is father Christmas,
he was gathering leaves'
'I cannot believe it,
enough of this banter
I'm afraid to inform you
that we've just mugged Santa'

'That's right' we we're stopping to get reindeer fuel
'But I can't continue
and now feel a fool'
'I think that because
my back has just popped
Christmas this year
will have to be stopped'

Ben rubbed his chin in a thoughtful way
he opened his mouth and was heard to say
'We'll sort it Santa
never mind your back
just show us where you keep
your Christmas present sack'

He pointed to the side of the Pavillion
The sleigh was right by where the story had begun
'I'm really not sure, but go if you must
but first you'll need some of my magic dust'

So the coaches were sprinkled and started to glow
and their coats did sparkle a green dynamo
The reindeers seemed friendly and ate up their leaves
and after seemed ready to fly through the trees

Glen grabbed the reins as he knew what to do
The night would be long, but they would all pull through
Ben was on Rudolph and Jon was on cupid
Tom said 'I must say we look a bit stupid'

'Heya' Glen cried and rattled the reins
'To win through the night you'll need all my brains'

But Rudolph wasn't ready

and just as they started
The red nosed reindeer
unfortunately farted

The sleigh started moving faster and faster
With Glen at the helm like a chariot master
And before they reached the dynamos drive
The sleigh lifted off
And flew into the sky

'Whoopsy' shouted Jon as he didn't like heights
but the rest were enjoying the bright christmas lights
so their journey had started
and though coach Ben shivered
a world full of presents
had to be delivered

First they did France and then Japan

Glen was the driver but was lacking a plan
and slowly by slowly countries were ticked off
by China coach Jon

had developed a cough

In New York Ben MH cut the top of his knee
This happened as he was shot

out top of the chimney
But this was by no means a delivery disaster
As Stupples had a green dynamos plaster

The night was long and to keep spirits alive
Jon started singing some subrosa 5

And as they were passing Miami Beach

Ben gave them all a motivational speech

Glen thought it handy
That there was so much brandy
But by-the-time that they

got the sleigh to Brazil
Some of the coaches were feeling quite ill

although to be fair there was a valid suggestion

that the mince pies they’d eaten had caused indigestion

By now there was chatter and some conversation

about Glen and his skills in world navigation

They'd been to Egypt, Hawaii and Finland

But weren't too sure 

if they'd ever find England

But all was well as where drinking's concerned

back home is the place that we've all returned

So they finally saw England

the last on the list
Steve said 'tomorrow I'm definitely getting a nice cup of cocoa'

But the police pulled them over 

as they flew in to Dover
Glen said 'it's ok my flying is fine'
But he failed to walk in a very straight line
In the end it turned out that the cops let them off
As Jon was not well with a worsening cough

So They covered Great Britain East South and West

Nat was quite worried and was feeling distressed

But they landed back down at the pedestal pitch

All presents delivered with hardly a hitch

Santa was happy and his back was now sorted

Fortunately Christmas had not been aborted

He got on his sleigh

giving all a high five

and 10 seconds later was off in the sky

So kids when you see your friends in 20 15

and tell them about what you've done and you've seen
you can tell them all

with dramatic pause
that you've kindof seen Mummy kissing Santa Claus

So this is the end of the Dynamos story
Next time one of you'd better call Rory